I have been trying to shift my focus to my day job and photographic projects whenever possible. However, the painful realisation that my Mum is no longer around always comes back. It hits me at most unexpected moments and there is nothing I can do about it. I am just trying to live with it.
I have been exploring ways of coping with the grief, including turning my camera at myself as a way of expressing how I feel. I don't know if it will work and I don't know where it will take me. But I am willing to try. Gradually, from time to time. Perhaps it will help me keep the physical connection to my Mum alive. Perhaps it will help me cope with the loss.
I borrowed the title for this deeply personal project from the last scene of one of the best films ever made, Blade Runner. It seemed appropriate, as I can only hold on tight to the memories and love that we shared. But it hurts deeply that the rest of all those moments, feelings and experiences that my Mum lived through are now lost in time, like tears in rain.
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